in the bag

you are seeing for the first time my beachtrip traveling, packing, and dispersing ways. i am so sure this is exactly what everyone needed, whether for a difference, a laugh, scoff, or for the crazy ridiculous shock value of it all. it's just i almost always have to have the closet space instead of drawers. i don't know why but i barely had to unpack this time. and i washed all of my clothing before coming back, as a matter of fact, my bag is still lying on the floor of my apartment, barely unpacked. what is with me?

last night all night i painted and tonight all night until nine at least i will be at the rx. and hopefully maybe by thrusday night my elbow which is bothering me the most at this point will have healed enough for me to beable to ride again.

friday night i am going to work again. but saturday and sunday are free days. i am keeping my mind on those two days. by that time i might be starting some fresh new art collage painting art. *my brother ethan and my sis n law mary are leaving on saturday for a month, to go and get little caleb. i have been and will be thinking of them mostly all of the time. as a family we gathered this past sunday, to celebrate the july birthday's, it was a somber sort of day in a good way. we all seemed tired and a little weepy with thoughts of caleb so so far away from us, waiting on his parents to come and get him. honestly i have been quite emotional lately and can't seem to shake the lake of tears that have overflowed the last two evenings.

i have these periods of release, thinking of how little i actually do keep things together. it's weird how often i don't feel capable, but plan to fake ability and responsibility. i am here at work, aren't i? and other than the usual stuff like letting the laundry pile up. i'm only about a week behind on the other kinds of things. again bills must be paid, tags and registration must be claimed, art to art, clothesline, friends, family, reading, book club, seeking advice, praying. i doubt seriously that i have anything in the bag except my leftover travels. seashells and cockleshells...that's what little girls are made of.

they are trying

to send me to rehab. anyone else. hearing this song. my mind tells me: it is something about the measured drum and bass style, rhythm, maybe, that i like. not so much the lyrics. is it she? singing? well?
i am glad to be at work this morning. i felt like i barely made it and might just be exaggerating, but i had a giant bicycle spill. and left my leg and elbow skin on the sidewalk somewhere along the riverwalk last night. understandably so all could be worse, a broken arm or leg, busted head or who knows. instead i am left with a little bruised ego. a thirty something wish that i was indestructable, a pathetic whimper of a "this sucks" sort of outlook. and i'll have to, have to, get back on that bike. i am sitting as low as i can go with a ice pack pushing back pain on my leg. a bandaid barely covering the elbow will have to do.

i was wondering about the elderly and how they must feel if such a spill befalls them. so crazy to think about crying out in pain at the age of 76. or is the pain so great to an 80 year old that they'd just passout? i didn't cry out until i got home and peroxide was put on my elbow. unga. where is my stamina? my endurance? my ability to overcome pain? i don't want to be a whimp! so i'll say no more.

i wanted to share:

a. zia natural skincare

b. loving and inspired by hannah's polaroids

c. waiting for more of this and that

d. would love to purchase his art

e. waiting impatiently for their ep

i like lists too, just like andrea.

pangs of home

feeling slightly, pangs of homesickness i made my way back on saturday evening. starting out on the road at around nine and not getting back home until five on sunday morning. i have never quite felt these strange pulls in both directions. it was the first year i have ever entirely enjoyed the shore, the sand and waves, shell hunting and sunning. but a simultaneous sinking arose inside of me, a feeling of wanting to be home. home working, painting, riding bikes, playing tennis, playing with my nephews, seeing my sister's, sleeping in my own big bed.

we stayed in the gulf and played in the gulf, ate well, watched zodiac, laughed hard, took a whole lot of photos, but still i wished in some way i was home. so much on my mind. it was beautiful, more clear and hot than ever before. less humid and crowded than i ever remember it being. i got a new pair of reefs, the same style but one size smaller, they had no fives.

i have not a whole lot more to offer. i am just trying to get caught up.

WIP:ground coverage

considering how my plans changed and were rearranged this past weekend, i'd say i actually covered ground, and am closer to completing this latest piece. i will be taking a break and won't be back in town until sunday. won't be blogging again until monday or tuesday of next week. the beach awaits my arrival.

mule.imple.ople

the week before a weekend off i often have fleeting thoughts of saturday sleeping in and all day pajama wearing-painting and collage making. sipping hot sour coffee, with honey butter toast, and a little smidgen of the darkest dark chocolate. i'd like to read in bed and watch tennis on television instead of sweating it out in the humidity. except i must get new tires on my car, oil, brake and maintanence. plus willingly spend a delightful morning breakfast with my mom & dad. dirty sweaty clothes have got to be washed and packed for my tuesday beach departure. and a clothesline checking account awaits my opening. i have a project, art list that is stacking up. and i want to, want to read my newly aquired magazines. i am all together torn up about how as an adult, time flys by, barely exists as a substantial point at all.

it isn't worth landing yet. in the midst of a short day yesterday i went ahead and ordered up a scramble of stickers, only a book.
i would humbly like to add...that on the twenty ninth of this month of july, phantomcrimes will be turning 3 years old. i think i've got some three hundred and ninty six posts under my belt and well i am not so sure what else to say. have a very nice weekend you all.
i may see you back here on monday. if not i'll be back in at the beginning of august.