fullness:a morning of c.o.l.o.r

this a.m. i woke up with an energy i have not felt in quite some time. i could have jumped right out of bed when national public alarmed me at six forty. instead i kept as still as possible, a dream uninterrupted until seven thirty. the light in my apartment wept, saturating just about everything. i watered my orchid and one bamboo shoot, decided to copy others and take note of the inside of my dishwasher. my melmine dishes made me think:installation. the painting given to me by one bff, katie k. hangs now, above my kitchen sink. one of only two pieces of actual art hanging on my walls. a self portrait reminding me of the past:white house apt. again i found my package from tammy. i'm slow to remove even the most lovliest things from the box, i want the pleasure, the feeling of unwrapping it everyday.
it could all be because i walked from my place all the way down to the fish {aquarium} place and back last night, at least a couple of miles, 14th street down to 3rd or second and back. or maybe i felt full. full of thankfulness again. full of excellant hummus and rewinded conversations with snl mary c. at bigriver last early evening. women's night. live funky music. and flies swarming around my pile of chickpeas.

maybe in the night a senitment came upon my like a memory fills a hole in your spirit after great joy, great sorrow, great struggle, or rather great strength. nothing can overcome me now even in the midst of indecision and compulsion to quit work for the day. possible bike ride with matt or a thousand mile walk. i look forward to the momentum of making art again. i'm certainately encouraged and committed and confronted with a variety of paper matters, medium matters, and personal whimsy ways.

i will bring up my nana again because even though she's past i am so so happy i had my her here, near me in her last months. and now my mother who is venturing soon from a traditional career, to pursue grant writing, vintage apron making and caleb watching, excites me and makes me wonder and thankful more and again. she and i are going to write:illustrate:publish our owb children's books. i know it.

these and a mirad of things are all full of love and color bringing hope. on this thursday at the end of may. may you be filled up. tell me how you have found the fullness.

making a way

i haven't had nearly enough time to get by here. in the last week i have felt like i was barely making a way for myself let alone phantomcrimes. yet throughout the thick and the thin of a sixty hour work week i made it and enjoyed mostly every minute of it. tammy gilley sent me an incredible five senses swap package, i almost couldn't believe my eyes, mostly overwhelmed in her brillant color choices. i feel terrible, i haven't a minute to send my five senses swap to my partner. although i've gathered just about everything, it's a shame, i should have figured my timing out a little better. i am so so sorry anastasia.

i did however finally get around to finishing my paper quilt project piece and sent it off. i feel fairly uncertain about the outcome and am not quite ready to show it off. i think it came together well enough and it amounts to meaning something to me and i felt so honored to contribute, but as far as the best thing i've ever done in my life. probably not. it comes down to my familytree and how it has grown and grown over the past few years. how i have grown to love my family; past, present and future family. how these family people have become some of the most important people in my life. a tree that represents life, growth, shade, protection and stability. and on a side note the paper quilt project and wendell berry's hannah coulter have both made me think of my nana. i remember crying my eyes out at her graveside service, because it was one of the most beautiful new jersey days you could possibly imagine. and plus i was there at her side as she slipped gently into the night. i felt heaven in those minute quiet seconds. sometimes i seem to invent things that remind me of her or others past. so strange. so wonderful to know.

and then how the clothesline show came to be. oh personally i had an amazing time. the spirit of the moment, the weather, the women artists, the amount and variety of art, the food, the fellowship, the turnout was all so overwhelming. it was not as you might think a party or artshow to be, more mild and calm, laid bare to avoid intimadation, the gallery pretense was nowhere to be found, intentionally. it was an immense success and the internal flaws can be looked at as a potential growth and strength. there is room for improvement, yes. but that is not to say it wasn't a fantastic way to celebrate art made by women artists. i can't not wait to get started on the planning for a fall show. look for updates both in my flickr and the official clothesline blog/site. if you were there and would like to leave an sort of feedback please do on that site. or email us and your thoughts at: ourclothesline@gmail[dot]com. thank you all so much for coming out and supporting us, me, them, everyone.

and for those of you following sam and liam's story...well they are doing really really well. they spent most of the day out and about town with their two little parentals. i had a chance to see them on sunday, very short and they're feeding well, growing and making us smile. thank you all for your continued thoughts and support. our family and the aaron and laurie collier family sure to appreciate everything.

that's it folks. gotta hit the trail, so to speak.

*making me happy*

it is amazing to me that sam and liam are actually here. i decided that i could not stay away from the hospital this past weekend. the temptation was so great. and here in the yellow cap is sam. and in the white cap, little liam. funny how babies change the instant they are born. according to laurie, sam was fairly active in the womb and now after having entered the world, has become chill and quiet. liam on the other hand was stressed a bit in the womb, crushed underneath sam and now as you see in alvin huffine's arms is more alert and active. yesterday i went to see them before they went home and they were in their little tanning beds. oh my oh my. laurie and aaron are doing really well. they were really eager to get home, to show their boys their rooms and the giraffe, to sleep in their own beds. laurie can actually breath now, previously so much pressure. aaron will be off a little and then will have to go back to school to finish up the year and he'll be out for the summer. we are going to have an awesome summer. i cannot wait. cannot.
i have plenty to accomplish and have nothing to show. i have been working my paper quilt project piece and should be finished by the end of the week. right now i don't feel like showing it to anyone. and i've gotta the rest of my five senses swap together. and clothesline at the end of the week.

sam&liam

for the family: sam and liam arrived yesterday may 10, 2007 at 11.43 and 11.44 am. they are both extremely healthy, happy, quiet little boys. momma laurie and my brother aaron are both doing really well. the boys weighed in at 6 pounds, 1 ounce each and 19 inches long. they are very close to being identical except that liam has lighter hair and a lighter complexion. sam has darker hair and a slightly darker complexion. we are so happy. so blessed. so excited. laurie is holding liam. aaron is holding sam. they are perfect you guys, absolutely amazing. they didn't have to go to the nicu or picu, whatever you wanna call it. everything happened so quickly. and as i learn more about the story of yesterday i'll fill in the gaps. thank you for prayers. for your love and support.