underneath:belief
one thought repeats itself over and over in my mind. a tentative nagging. to say we saw ethan and mary off to kazakhstan isn't all that true. honestly i wish that i had told them each how much i love them. and now i am wondering, have they made it, are they making it alright, are they safe, excited, scared? are they homesick already, do they miss us? i know i am missing them so soon, already, yes. on saturday evening i made my way to their home and literally folded ethan's shirts for him. it's not like he is gone eternally, two months might go by and i might not seem him anyway, even with the both of us in one city. but he's on the other side of the world now and even if i wanted to i couldn't get to him. laurie and i helped mary pack gifts for caleb's caretakers, nurses, and doctors. we packed caleb's little clothes and socks and toys. we packed medicine and a even a baby bjorn. i helped pack their shampoo, soap, and shoes, and still i feel like maybe i should have hung out just a little longer.
my belief; and to say the least i'm excited and overflowing with anticipation. i can't wait for the first email from mary. my joy is hope. can't wait-ing to see caleb's face for the very first time in september. unga!!! i can't wait to begin posting news, at: calebtochatt.
in order: any foundational drawing here is for the sake of new art. trees are on the horizon. new trees. and a friend of mary's gave her a book that she had published with blurb. i'm thinking i might have a book:portfolio made, or i could use flickr's qoop.
peace.
barely wip&flickr stickers
up until yesterday i had been becoming increasingly worried that time seemed to take it's time when it came to the delivery of my flickr mini moo sticker book. and then in my box in a white envelope they appeared. a minor important pick me up of inspiration. and now i have no idea exactly what i will do with them. i think i will have new cards made of the paper quilt collage series to sell at our september clothesline show. i may just use the stickers as an envelope seal sort of thing. it's not that important. just 9.99 for an assortment of 90 stickers, that's all.
if you'd like to know more about kasakhstan check it!!!
have a very nice weekend friends. take advantage of the time and benefit. more love.
simmer.sizzle.succulent
"hey, I am having to force myself to not look at your blog for a little while. Part of the reason ( a main reason) I look at your blog is for the great links to websites carrying "merchandise" I love. You have the greatest links. Well, on your last blog entry you put links to sites having 50% off sales and there I went. Yet again I BOUGHT stuff from 16 sparrows (just 2 packs of notecards this time). But- really I love your links- I always love what they have to offer. I was about to buy 2 totebags from another one of your links- I still might (forget the name). That 50% off stuff gets me. I am having to not look. Aaron says it is fine, but I know that I need to invest in diapers instead. I can not wait to get the stationary though. Hee Hee. But- seriously- thanks for all the links through your blog- I usually love them all, I like to browse if nothing else. I have to save up for the clothesline show now- I am seriously so excited about that."
i know of a whole lot of blogs that feature online shops and artists everyday, but i also know how long it can take to go through all of those blogs inorder to find the shops that are selling their sales @ 50% off. i love blogs like: poppy or decor8 or my mosdef fav is print&pattern. these girls work hard, searching, researching and posting new artists, new art, new shops, new design. it's incredible what they do-everyday.
on another note(s): i have been wanting to get some of my old school "scrap"book collages up and about. my black book, as i used to call it was my forum, my place and my beginning. i'd say around 1997 i started collecting paper, found items and pieces of life and compiling them into this collage-writing format. it became my foundation, much like a sketchbook would if you were in school. i experimented with color, shape, style and form. it was a refuge and comfort to me. each collage my personal assignment. it is amazing to me now, that these images conjured up, and manifested themselves into what i see in my art now. ten years have gone by and just now i am reminded of the trees, fish, and doodles i used to draw. i am wondering now, how come it took me so long to come into my creative own. the concept has always been there, i suppose it has been about being refined in all of it.
i remember inspiration from ralph steadman especially. these dark contour like drawings made into every aspect of my thoughts. i also remember playing with squares and circles. these simple shapes continue to play such a role in what i make even now. so bizzare. i felt so rebellious then and but didn't feel challenged until someone close to me told me that i needed to stop working in my black book and i needed to start making art in the real sense of the word, share it with other people and stop playing around. boy, i'd say those words have stuck with me. my friend wasn't trying to be mean, they just wanted me to grow more. so have i grown? i think so.
check out more of my black book pages here.
my father:on making sense
in the moments after father's day cards were exchanged there were a few tears. the day represented a mountain of fighting, praying, and hoping on my brothers behalf on account of the fact that they have had to fight to get their children and my father has had to fight to get suzanne and emily. our family has grown and will continue on, because of the fathers in my family. i am not assuming too much by thinking, expressing how i don't think many fathers fight for their children's lives anymore. i know for my dad and my brothers the battle hasn't always been ideal, the sacrifice has no words. but they've done it with no complaint, no regrets. we will never regret one another, nor will we regret the birth of sam, liam and caleb. we will never regret adopting emily and suzanne into our family, because my dad has been the fighting example to all of us. emily wrote these things out in her handmade cards to dad and my brothers. coming from her, my word, it was like soaking up the wounds, throwing burdens off and being free from destruction. i suppose if you were looking in from the outside our family might not make a whole lot of sense, but through my dad's eyes, there's refuge, comfort, peace and hope.
thank you dad:if you're reading you should make a comment as to how the day made you feel, i mean, your arms are so big, not so literally but they've held us all, and for so long. did you feel the roots of our familytree growing deeper by the minute in those moments? did you feel like your family was a team, working together at the sport of our lives? it meant a whole lot to us to beable to celebrate your life with you. i know that.
and the fireworks are from riverbend that finished up this past weekend. i have to be honest i avoided the whole thing like it was the plague. although they did some really cool things this year, like build a habitat house and on sunday morning i saw all of the riverbend runners and walkers, kinda interesting. i didn't know they hosted a run/walk-what about a bike ride?
i think that's everything for today. i am super excited about finishing up the week here, i'm looking forward to having the weekend off. woohoo!!!