nobody girl

this past weekend i seriously accomplished the huge list of things i needed to. it's amazing what a deadline can do. it's even more amazing that i didn't have to work until last night. having had a whole lot of time, almost ninty six hours worth, to paint, print, package, hang, distribute, meet&discuss and recover all that i originally thought was lost in my head. when you have thought about something for so long and then it actually happens or gets close to happening, it can be a little overwhelming and boy oh boy what a relief.
i am super excited about what i have to share and show at clothesline and can't believe that we're about to do it all again. the second in my television trees (above) is a serious departure from my paper quilts, even from my previous trees, but all in all these are the trees i've been thinking about and feeling like lying underneath. and of course there's nothing about them that is symbolic, it's my personal interpretation on graffiti, on a soft world of graffiti that is.

on saturday i finally got to the printers and on sunday picked up sixty brand spankin new card sets of my six paper quilts. this go around i wanted to spruce them up a bit and am pleased as punch with their new rounded corners-ahhh and envelope seals!

on one hand i wish i could say that after clothesline i'd get a little bit of break but on the other hand, i'm eager to start the next in line project(s). my next "meet the deadline" is october first. i have in the recent months been asked by aaron robbs, lead singer/gituarist for coral castles to design:make the art for their newest album:ep. on sunday we had the opportunity to sit and and discuss, surf the www and speak openly on subjects of design, art, creativity and the like. i am thrilled to pieces about this and can barely contain my thoughts on this tip.
i think i mine as well just post about my next deadline. i'm hestitant because there all kinds of things that i have to do first, plus a publishers approval and all, but i'm excited and thought if i told you all about it you could keep me in your thoughts and "cross fingered" prayers.

i have been contacted by someone who would like me to submit my paper quilts for a diy book to be published at the beginning of next year. it is going to be a whole lot of work but i feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and to share it with my friends, family and readers here. it seems like it maybe an encouragement to you as you travel down your own creative paths. i will definitely keep you updated as i approach december one and january one of twothousandeight.
i've started my next to last piece for the clothesline show, pictured below and hope to have it completed by tonight or tomorrow. again what's with the rounded corners? this will be my third twilight trees (a warm colored one for the record books) and then a fourth (a cooler one in blues and greens and turqs) hopefully will be completed by thursday night-friday afternoon at the latest. unga.

i have no idea if i'm leaving something out or not. if it weren't for the holiday i think i might have gone bonkers. thanks labor day!

thinking about ryan adams, can you tell?

not impressed

i guess you guys weren't impressed enough. well then we'll leave it at that and move on. i worked at cvs this weekend and worked on this, my latest piece, television trees. i scribbled about on a piece of paper over at matt's house and came up with something along these lines. it pays to scribble or sketch. it's been my source of new material, as of late, that's for sure.

i am fairly pleased as pie with my television trees. i am going to start another one tonight, another, different rendition of sorts. and hopefully i'll get the little things i see wrong with this one, right with the next one. i almost like the photo better than the original. man oh man i just want to make art that looks like graffiti. but not so much like graffiti, you know? i have also been terribly inspired by josh bennett's piece, ninja life, let me remind you. do you see?

i am also super excited about the new news from my brother ethan and sis n law mary in regards to their official adoption of caleb b. collier. soon a new little nephew will be home. yeah yeah yeah!

i think other than that. i'm off.

Twilight Trees II:i am not my own

it will take a miracle, a miracle beyond all. to the form or shape of what, i'm not so sure. to complete enough work for the upcoming clothesline show. in the mean time i have finally finished the second installment in a twilight trees series, which may have started here...or here. maybe i'm misgiven, it's less of a series and more like a forest i think and write about when describing all of the trees i have been painting. lately i have forgotten all about the grove of trees i have hanging at fitness together and can't imagine what they might all look like hanging out together. i suppose that if i'm unable to accomplish my goal of four more new pieces, i could show flea market:beehive tree and the freezing trees, but they're not so new, but they've not ever really been seen in a show/exhibit forum. one last thing, i'd like to have cards made of my paper quilt series. it's seriously all going to stretch me, mentally, physically, and probably financially, and artistically yes, but it is growth after all. yikes!

in the eye of my small little storm. i'm realizing how little i am my own at this point. it's how the tide has turned and i am more of my art than my art is apart of me. it is living and breathing, sleeping and eating my art. it's about being emotionally tied up, bound to sleepless nights of planning and rehearsing the hours and days to come. and i need to be thinking about my health too? goodness. i believe it will all be alright. it will all come together in the end. until then i'll keep you afoot of the details. and please think of coming out to our show in september. it has been a thrill to see how all of the lose ends are coming together and i'd be so happy to see each of you there. thanks a mil:)

.up.to.no.good.

two a.m. rolled around and you'd think i would have had enough sense to lay the paint and brushes down. i just couldn't help myself. knowing and feeling the mad dash crunch is all it takes. the late nights haven't seen the last of me. unfortunately i have only a few more last touches to put on my spacetree painting, but i'm stonecold out of motivation for the finishline. it was dragging me down so i decided over the weekend to pick up a new canvas and after some foundational sketching i started a new perspective:rendition on the twilight trees. it's my remixed version. *with the spacetree painting i intended all along to recycle a previous painting. i meant to leave the seagulls and the majority of bluesky, but i continue to struggle. i have the smaller circles in the trees to paint. i'm leaning between an orange red or a lighter green. i also am leaning toward applying a tad more paper to the piece, but i'm uncertain about it all and know i probably won't be showing the spacetree piece in the upcoming clothesline show. i'd rather have it hanging at fitness together with the rest of my growing forest.

twilight will make an unseemly sorching hot or frigidly freezing day feel redemptively magical. at the close, a comforting quiet and coming together of all that the day held in ups and downs. twilight illustrates a time when starlings fly in unison above my city and collect themselves simultaneously on highwires. a small moment of deepening bluesky and some slight breeze, i can breath. i'm not saying i can even come close to painting what i invision twilight to be. my trees aren't really the trees i see on a daily basis, but they warm me, or at least my heart. i still struggle inbetween twilights fantasy and it's alterego, reality. the reality of it all is that i hope above all that something inside of me comes out on the canvas and warms other people's hearts. i know my style is off and cursive in nature, i know my lines are crooked, but they are purpose driven as all of twilight reaches out for darkness and the silence of night.

sometimes i feel like i beg for attention, i struggle with phantomcrimes and hide what i really want and that is recognition. foolish and corrupt as it may seem it is true that i wish to be discovered and that i want my art to find it's way into the minds, homes, and thoughts of little children who want someday to make art. i would love to see my art in beautiful/decay or juxtapoz or my local but now chicago based mule. and inbetween these thoughts i am struck, as if with a fly swatter, that there is a beautiful community of women artists here in my city, my friends, who have lifted my spirits and pushed me further. and i am reminded of how they are my audience, a small part of a larger community, but still. and thankfulness for this "clothesline" community is really all that i need. afterall if i had any more than what i've got i'd have to quit my jobs and begin to live in an art world. a world of many too many 2 a.m. nights of artmaking. alas, it isn't that time yet in my life. if that time came i'd be just as scared, so i'm left in peace about what my responsibilty truly is, it's to share and hopefully gain some perspective with phantomcrimes, here. i'm off to up to no good:)

underneath:belief

words can feel like combinations of symbols that often times barely scrape by, defining little physicality or emotion. an understated disclaimer of how meager my words feel when i am writing them out. desperately searching word after word for relevance, truth and mostly purity. so if i say i had a fairly nice weekend, i myself am bored with the phrase. in regards to the real deal, the underneath it all sort of stuff, it is going to have to playout.

one thought repeats itself over and over in my mind. a tentative nagging. to say we saw ethan and mary off to kazakhstan isn't all that true. honestly i wish that i had told them each how much i love them. and now i am wondering, have they made it, are they making it alright, are they safe, excited, scared? are they homesick already, do they miss us? i know i am missing them so soon, already, yes. on saturday evening i made my way to their home and literally folded ethan's shirts for him. it's not like he is gone eternally, two months might go by and i might not seem him anyway, even with the both of us in one city. but he's on the other side of the world now and even if i wanted to i couldn't get to him. laurie and i helped mary pack gifts for caleb's caretakers, nurses, and doctors. we packed caleb's little clothes and socks and toys. we packed medicine and a even a baby bjorn. i helped pack their shampoo, soap, and shoes, and still i feel like maybe i should have hung out just a little longer.

my belief; and to say the least i'm excited and overflowing with anticipation. i can't wait for the first email from mary. my joy is hope. can't wait-ing to see caleb's face for the very first time in september. unga!!! i can't wait to begin posting news, at: calebtochatt.

in order: any foundational drawing here is for the sake of new art. trees are on the horizon. new trees. and a friend of mary's gave her a book that she had published with blurb. i'm thinking i might have a book:portfolio made, or i could use flickr's qoop.
peace.