by way of introduction

self portrait challenge

in way of introduction, i missed last week. i take a whole helluvalot of photos of myself. you'll never see them though, i tend to delete over ninty percent of them. only a handful reach the public spectrum. i suppose we all do the same thing, don't we? it'd be a first, and maybe one day i'll grow the muscles enough to post the really bad photos of myself. it is embarassing to even think about putting up the less than desirables.

intro:

i am so short you guys! so first, back in 2002 i lost my bed and so the doctor's that i work for, were too kind and bought me the bed of my wishes. the bed i chose is big and i've got to kinda hoist myself upon it. secondly, i have a bike that i got from my aunt c. that i've not ridden but wish to. and thirdly i've got a lamp that doesn't have the wire or shade, but is an antique. the mirror was a gift and now i look at myself more than i ever have before. i wish the reflection was less blurry, but glad it isn't. my legs won't ever touch the ground as i sit on the end of my bed. i'm below five feet and my legs are super short. my favorite part of is my hair. i think that i have some pretty hair. that and my madeup eyes might just be what i think is the best part of me.

the other part of me intro: i think i still like my apartment. i like some knick knacks. i have a heart for books and low red/orange light that glows. i do not like my black kitchen counter tops. i do not like clutter but tend to have some here and there. package piles to be sent out, bills/reciepts and cvs schedules, magazines galore! i love eggcups and have a small but varied collection of yellow cups mostly. i still have a valentine mobile from dear kate hanging as well as my "i'm very proud of my" paper flower christmas wreath. the two seasonal items pass under the holiday "fadar" due to the fact that both are slightly less holiday-ish, just colorful.

last night i came home after hanging out with matt for a little while. earlier in the day i came home from the office to a sweet sounding package in my mailbox. one of the last times i saw kate, she came over and we were up until the wee hours of the night. a part of our conversation was devoted to my new found appreciation for praise and worship music. it's different than what i grew up with at ncf, a combination of things have changed and so my tolerance for xtian music. but i suppose i could recieve a whole lot of critisism because of my desire to follow my faith and hence listen to this sort of music. but i am thinking that i do not care. the cd's include 'enter the worship circle', hungry & surrender which are two vineyard cd's, sara and another woman. and a prophetic cd with jason upton on it. after all these years, after my love for indie, hiphop, electronic, and folksy music fade i suppose therein lies pnw! and miracles do happen! ask someone who has had cancer and all of a sudden it is gone from there body, no explaination!!! but that's beside the point. i'd like to know what kind of miracles you've experienced in the last day or two. just to see, ya know?

so anyway i'm out.

crash boom bang

i have been exploring and absurbing the www. don't you just love it? especially when you've got the time to delve and dig around. well honestly i bought a few magazines and now i'm just linking it up. check out the hot new summer products. the red getaway tote from BUILT isn't something i think i'd ever use only because it's a cooler, ah cooler. call me crazy but i'd carry this roundy as a purse. i think it'd make a great belated mother's day gift only because all of you out there write about your purse contents and it always includes perishables, right? so whathahec? i worked this weekend and draggled any free time away. i finally ordered a new bathing suit from llbean. my mom so kindly measured me and i've come out of the wash, kinda shrunk!!! it's official i've dropped from a size 16 to a brand new size 10. i'm not the same girl and who knew it'd be this satisfying!!! thanks to the ever encouraging words of the mom person, kate and awh matt. yes maybe it all started with the biggest loser and matt, but i'm pleased at least i'm keeping the weight off. walking helps too, so maybe i'm a little responsible for the success! "pat on the back"

on to fresh citrus-E, flora and fish-E things from dermond peterson design. they're simple monochromatic designs are a big hit with me. it is all a hugely expensive bit, but i know all you out there doing the freezer paper stencils might just find some INSPIRATION (hint hint kate!) i haven't seen anyone try out the fruit n' floral thing yet, maybe that idea is dried up, whoknows? i love the idea of yellow! see lemonade stand theme crossing the globe for summer...

i never feel like i miss out a whole lot. i generally, generally feel like apart of the creative community, but when i come across a cool creative corner of the spyderweb i'm totally blundered, bowled over with awe. the polka dot life is just one example of how one might be walking down the street and then the most amazing store window appears upon the horizon! whaalaa! beauty overwhelmingly love applys! take a looksee, i really like the pockiebooks, and sweet bookplates. just a fiend for bookplates. i'm kinda like ellia with my books although i'm not as organized. i like having my books displayed by color and size.

i only have a few more things to add...

1. who knows who dan robbins is? anyone? well, um he's featured in one of the mag's i purchased...think paint by number!!! anyway he's got a website and you all might just be thrilled like me to get in on the viewing capabilities. danrobbinspaintbynumbersguru.com

sheesh!!!

see the cute purse

2. alicia lachance
look at her art girls! especially the green on the second page. can you believe it?

anyway i'm off, just thought i spend sometime catching you all up on the fine work of others out there.

TILT* & more from the mouth

just look at these little guys!!! when aaron and laurie went to prague for their honeymoon they brought me back a couple of these little ones, i believe the hedgehog and ummmm maybe the owl, i actually have forgotten...jen gave me another three, two christmas's ago. the five of these tiny little glass creatures sit in my special box on my kitchen counter in the corner. even though i have scaled back on the nick nacky stuff, i still must have a place display my favorite small things. so for thursday i love my little things. i actually haven't got much more. this morning i felt terrible and thought i might not make it to work. i felt dizzy and top heavy for some reason...i feel much better and don't mind the sweet green tea frappe' from charbucks, yumi! i haven't got to work tonight, so maybe i'll get some painting done. we shall see. i have the vintage love swap and another postcard swap to work through in the next couple of weeks. i have pics from the weekend with friends and fam but haven't got to a pc with my wire to upload. yikes!!!



see more love here

to be a mother

a day or two late but nonetheless here, thinking, reading other thoughts and reflecting on my mother and what it must mean to be a mother. i am not a mother of my own children yet. although, i have done my share of babysitting so i have never felt the void of caring for or nurturing children. i have experienced the great miracle of childbirth as kate gave me, when josiah came into this world three years ago. i have come as close as you can get to a mother's sheer joy and maddening panic in the many years i have watched other people's children. for a season babysitting was my second income and so it was nothing for me to have several families call on me at least once a week. at one point i was watching nine children every wednesday night, while their parents took a course in financial peace.

this past saturday evening i went out to the kring's house for a going away party for the perkins. while there i had the realization that i was the only single female amoungst the bunch and that i had many children, many many children (indeed, all of my friends children). my mother always wanted six children when she and my dad were starting our family. they stopped at three, but they've gained four more through adoption and marriage. i was talking with my mom on saturday, actually i was listening to my mother "vent." which is a totally incredible thing to be able to do, now. i know that my mother wishes she could spend more time at home, in her garden, writing and reading and i think that time will come. she's been sacrificing her whole entire life, with never a true moment for herself. just for herself. i told her that she is the best mother in the world. really the best. i cannot imagine that she ever has moments of regret or dispair only because she never shows it. but i know that times have been tough, i see how my mother has changed and how she is still faithful to her heavenly father, despite the internal struggle. on sunday pastor frank talked about giving, honoring our mothers with our peace. he spoke about how we might find that peace and how that would be the best gift we could give. i wanted to make sure that i emphasized that very thing in conversation with my mom. i don't think it is easy being a mother so it's without a doubt that i love what my mother is and has become. all this is a rabble, a tendency towards wanting to say the best thing ever about who my mother is. it just hasn't been flowing and so the delay. i know my mother knows how much i love her and so i hope i can only be with her and become better friends with her as time goes on. and when my time comes, if it comes and as god's will parts the waves and makes it into miracle and i have some rowdy dowdy short chillin's i can only hope/pray that i am as good as my mom. you know really, as good, as great as CAC has been to me and the rest of the fam. now onto today...

who's a busy bee? & new painting!!!

i didn't exactly finsh posting yesterday. i tend to get bored in the midst of writing, often it seems so tedious and i'd rather just waste your time and post a bunch of links. i've also been complaining, whining, moaning the friction, sandpaper strees of my poor cat life. it's not worthy of the words i type, erase, retype and publish.

seemingly as if like yesterday...i was in the dentist's office lobby writing hannah a note, waiting to be called back. we'd been corresponding for sometime and were beginning a nice little bloggie palship, so when i was called up, shown to the room; i without thinking twice, mid sentence sealed the envelope up and sent the note to hannah regardless. a few weeks later she emailed me mentioning she'd recieved my note but the writing had fall off with mystery. i had no idea i'd done such a penpal "no-no" and felt she'd think i was slightly off kilter, but since we've moved along quite well. so as you might understand, i do tend to leave all thought up in the air so to speak.

just because i am struggling with thoughts in my own head about various disorders, malfunctions and misfortune, doesn't mean that the people i often write about are doing as badly as, i with tiny eyes (graceless) see or should even fray about in my writing here. one day i'll have to sit and decide where this blog should go, should it exist as a space to bemoan the poor in heart(myself) or boast the craftywise and painterly success (joy) i have. in the mean (between) time i have a boundless amount to be thankful for. i have been given a gift, i know it, cannot help it. i am really happy with my newest creation, the freezing tree. i am a little insane, touching it all up last night even after putting up in my etsy shop, please go and see here and here. last night i stayed up way too late and painted, even started on a second tree, same size, same style and everything. to be honest, if i don't sell freezing tree on etsy, i'm taken it to tina at blueskies. i may take the painting down there anyway, when i take a stack o' cards to sell. i'm real close, real real close to having my cards ready. including: a personalized stamp. i have lapsed on getting a hi-fi printing company to print my cards, why not just a stamp?

this weekend is chalked full, i mean really full of events. shopping and baking for mother's day. a going away party for the perkins @ the kring-green estate in the great chickamauga out o doors. sunday with family, and sometime i'd like to paint more and organize my compilations for the vintage love swap, walk with matt, hit up blueskies, et cetera-oh and scan my book and work on it in photoshop. sheezamheez! i'll be exhausted. there is still love even though it's friday see my beautiful stacks fo melamine below.


tomorrow look out for a post too, and ode to my beautiful mom and my favorite little boy josiah!!!

i may even have updated pics of freezing tree.

**** YOU ALL SHOULD BEABLE TO COMMENT NOW, THANKS TO K. I REALIZED MY SETTINGS WERE A LITTLE AWRY! SINCERE APOLOGIES AND HAPPY COMMENTING!:)****