despite it all

today felt like a blur. and despite it all i came away feeling completely unscathed. and more than a little excited, thrilled to be sure. what might have been an unbearable struggle has now become something of a small miracle. i am especially thankful for the cooler weather, otherwise tromping around this morning would have been a sweaty mess. and i am clearly looking forward to a new perspective, and cannot wait to wake up to a new scene. a brand new view. i'm taking the west side. there is a whole lot more work and a whole lot more strategy to go over but i think i can say, a tad sheepishly, that i feel like everything that can be, is under control. that is the leak has stopped. the water is back on. and life as i have known it for the past six years will continue on but only for another very short little while, hence the sneak peak of the new treehouse apartment. if you read often and know me at all, keep me in your thoughts and say a little prayer for me, that i remain a heap o' joy throughout this great big change to come. the nervousness is nipping at me just a little. i'll do my very best to keep you posted as this thing, my life, and the changes become more in focus. good night. all.

::haunted window trees:: & apt life

just finished ::haunted window trees:: this evening. hope it's "scary" enough for the "scary stuff" show coming up october 29 at createhere. it's a change for me, to start with a dark black palette of tissue paper. by adding the creamy white paint, and red and gold splattered paint i hoped it would look like blood and bones. and that's about as creepy and dark as i think i can get. don't know but think it's a fairly successful addition to the overall series of trees. maybe it's the turn or corner in my perspective i needed. not necessarily darker themes but darker palettes.


i'm also facing a ever growing hole in my ceiling. today i came home to the exposed pipes and wires and more dripping water. don't worry though, i've gotten my safety gear together, going to bed with my life preserver on and whatnot. just taking everything day by day here. i did however get to my closet tonight and gathered three bags of give me away clothing. i'm happy about that and can now half-check the task off my every growing list of things to do.
as getting it to a drop off salvation army box is yet another story or might i say, yet another two weeks away, as i seem to do everything i want to do about two weeks behind my internal schedule. it's all very good here in the treehouse. i have got so much to be thankful for, like the mountains, that is signal point and the cool rocks and the one thing i love most, light. simple light. it'd just be nice to know in advance if i have enough in me to make it through this heavy construction project. i think today i felt i did but each day is a little different. knowing the future isn't all that important. i'm not worried. i have no plan to surrender my white flag. hope to keep you updated as i begin to create work for upcoming november show. woohoo! good night now.

stay.at.home.week::friday

i cherish every friday. fridays at work are often more relaxed and filled with interesting conversation and catch up news from the week. i have noticed in myself something, getting better, probably a growing happiness. its rare for me to feel a little bit of joy and not know exactly where it's coming from. i know that the sweet alternative to chocolate or gummie bears are my favorite spice cookies. i made my second batch in a month, spicy little rounds of soft cookie, umm. when the dough is spread thin and cut into shapes the cookies become crunchy and fit for the christmas time type of cookie but during these months of lowering temps, the softer side of this cookie reminds me more of halloween and thanksgiving. i tend to make myself sick on them. i barely have any regrets about it though. after all i am back to a little more exercise these days.

i am currently conducting a serious stand off with my laundry. and continue to think that breakfast tomorrow with my dad is going to be so nice. i guess after this week is over i'll get back to making stuff. i was kind of waiting to see how life and the trees i have created so far, were going to pull me. i am thinking i've got a few more trees in me and i've not yet tapped the wealth of growth and variation by making more trees. whats more i haven't even begun to do trees at night, a whole other story and forest approach.

the inspiration continued this week when i received my copy of 3191 in the mail. i think i found a little bit of myself in the book and what a surprise. i dunno if it's stupid of me or not, i barely care but, on toward the back of this delightful celebration of a book, i believe i found amidst the comments, a comment i made in april 07 in response to one of the photo comps. i recall writing and thinking about how the word "enjoy" just did not feel as good as the word "in" joy as a way to describe how i felt about this specific diptych. i guess in some senses that is how i have begun to feel about looking at my own life. to enjoy feels a little less. what enjoy has to offer is more like a command and to say i am enjoying something feels a lot like having to try really hard. but "in" joy i feel like i have more get up and go about the whole of life. you have to be in it to "in" joy it. and too, i feel like it is "in" joy that i ought to be more thankful and to be less apathetic about jumping into life, whatever that may be from day to day. my week did not feel so mundane but i know that i've felt the enormity of monotonous tasks and the weight of having to be and do something. i have also begun to consider the fact that having joy and "in"joying is a serious choice and it must be made everyday. no joke about it. with that i'm off to either sit and watch televison or do laundry, or maybe both.

stay.at.home.week::oatmeal

for breakfast, lunch or dinner, oatmeal made my way is the best and probably not the most nutritious.  my secret here, is to turn the heat up high before dumping in the oats, i tend to let the oats cook a few seconds before mixing in the water.  seems ridiculous, like who cares, right?  the oats stay separate from one another and the mix ends up being less mushy and more well, appetizing.  like pasta cooked the right way.  and pecans.  pecans with that perfect sort of smoky flavor.  what better way to warm up to the beginning of the end of the year.  oatmeal is what i am making while i stay home this week.  plus isn't it proven to lower cholesterol?  

stay.at.home.week

in honor of stay at home week it seems like a good idea to remind oneself of what's good about being home.  

i came home from work and found a large watermark in the ceiling of my small hallway.  i found a broomstick to punch at the mark with, to see how sopping wet it might really be.  it wasn't.  the leaking ceiling thing has happened before, once when my "above me" neighbor left his bathtub to overflow.   i know how much moving is going to be a challenge for me but, it is becoming more of reality everyday.  i have flip-flopped between buying or continuing to rent and i think, due to the housing flimflam, i'll wait to buy and settle on the rent.  i am alright with that as long as i can find something downtown.  the leaky ceiling will help me find a more suitable living arrangement when i am ready.  i know that and that's why it's good for me, to stay at home.  surf the apartment guides and chose wisely and be diligent in this.

i have a huge pile of clothing that has piled up, the giveaway kind and it'll be nice to add to that pile and donate it this week.  check in, i might not even get to it.  

crossword puzzles are my secret before bed time addiction.  i neglected to find the upcoming bookclub book at any of my local bookstores so i am afraid i won't be attending this month.  i have no idea what it might be like to go to bed with someone every night after years of not, having some kind of personal before bed time ritual.  crosswords remind of the laundry i need to do and the sheets that needed to be washed and changed.  

there is cleaning to do, major cleaning.  i know all that i have done in the last months has been to make tons of art.  i have a break until a little while.  a week.  maybe?  before i oughta get back to it.  like i keep saying, i'm going to.  mopping and washing and organizing doesn't seem as fun as looking at cute, inspiring things on the web.

there is so much to do in one week.  a lot to be thankful for if all i did not want to do and decided to look.  there's a bridge for chattanooga, if i get bored of being at home this week.  there are about a billion "bail-out" of the things i ought to do-things and great art to look at on flickr, to study and be again and again thrilled by.  anyone else tired of wallstreet//gov-funding 101, join me in looking around this week. 

a.  k masback - reminds me that line+color=joy

b.  a tucker - simplicity+color blocks=grand complexity and close to perfection composition

c.  saucysiouxie - subtle and sharp/quiet and loud=can be found and achieved simultaneously

d.  isabel nadal - paint can do the same thing that i am used to paper doing for me=blobs/blocks of color

e.  andrea ebert - black and white are important=i will be focusing to refine this value in the paper medium

looks like i am going to end up being busy.  i figure i have the pleasure of staying home this week.  i wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway but now that the television tells me i can feel free to be here in the place i love the most, i mine as well.