threaded and tight

quickie post here before i'm out for the day. i have been noticing that my face is changing and i totally like it. i do not seem to look as though i am getting older, thanks to my be u tee ful monamieta-genes and such. when my hair is longer i keep it up all of the time. so i'm due for a salon visit or a cut and color from matt? he's offered...what am i supposed to think of that? or actually i have been thinking of going back to mk. we shall see...

in other news my weekend was full of rx work. painting still-sunflowers. fruit smoothies with granola. reading about proper vitamin intake. wishing i could write some of my friends, thinking i should write some of my friends but feeling rather unmotivated. but getting to the bicycle painting finally. i have very nearly no new thoughts.

as an adult female i have finally learned how to pluck my own eyebrows. this nice cornered photo is a before shot. never have i been such a girlie girl, but all has begun to change. a great coworker of mine at uoha began doing my brows a couple of months ago. i finally got the courage up enough to ask her to arch them. after looking at the fuzzy wuzzy's all week and missing the op with her i decided to try my tweezy hand at them. yikes! a teary beginning with a uplifted-eyebrowlifted ending. horrah! did anyone catch sunday morning with charles osgood? do any of you use your ipod at work? is it appropriate if, for instance, you are already allowed to turn on the radio or broadband pc style? i suppose...i'll wait on an ipod. still needing that laptop. saving my change and cigarette moolah.

even though it's friday

i just got back from my daily routine. and really it has become a routine. even though it is friday i walked or ran up 20 flights of stairs, walked two laps around the top outdoor level of the parking garage, and finally a lap through the hospital. it has been eight weeks since i began this "improving" of my life thing. so far my experience has gone really super well. in addition, as i have mentioned, i have begun the process of becoming vegan. i have always wanted to try my hand at eating and living a vegan life, but never had the actual motivation or push. i'd like to be able to say i have done it all on my own, making this decision but really that would only be a half truth. i haven't eaten meat (except fish-like tuna/sushi) in some time (except when mom would cook a nice meal). beef, bacon, steak and chops have been out of the question for a real long time. chicken was tempting. my bfriend matt has bravely walked where no one has voluntarily walked before, by using every ounce of persuasion to convince me of the vegan life. no religion has called me, no one thing specifically, i only feel better, i know i feel better. so i have been surfing the www. fortunately found jennifer's site vegan lunchbox. thanks to her i found a beginning!!! vegan outreach!!!

okay and so lots of my coworkers and my sisters n laws are giving me a pretty hard time too! i mean about "going" vegan, but i have no doubts about this decision. vegan outreach gives me all the information i need to make informed nutritional eating decisions. it talks about the vitamins and foods to find the right vitamins in. starting in january 06 i started taking a multi vitamin. i'll let you know but i can't see my labs slip slip slippin'. it isn't going to happen.

this is the last weekend to go and see my work at mojo burrito. if you've not been down there it's a must see. not because it's my work but because it is good. and the majority of it has been sold, so it may be the last time you'll have the chance to see it all. whatever i haven't sold will be put up in my etsy account and on ebay, simultaneously. if you are interested in a work that has sold, i am able to do duplicates. especially like the piece "stilled shamrock."

i wanted to thank my mom and dad, aunt c. and uncle d, and aaron and laurie for purchasing my art. it has been a huge learning experience. really! also my gratitude to tim @ mojo. and lastly more gratitude to matt for hooking me up. it is because of your growth that i have this opportunity. i have been wrong to not have a better attitude about the whole thing. if there's a next time, i'll know how to act.

i love elephants. above lined up in my window.

blind border patrol

i don't know about you but the weekends are never quite long enough. if you are like me you spend a good bit of monday catching up on reading and responding to all that the blog world offers. this week i will be reigning in my emot-like writing. at least until next month that is.

my weekend though full of more emoting, was a whole lot better than my week. i was much more productive, have come back to work, well rested and with positive, growing faith thoughts.

saturday i finally, somewhat shamefully went to see my best friend's new baby girl. lavendar was born almost six weeks ago and what with all the sixty five hour work weeks i've missed the first days of her life. despite all, i got more of my fair share of the beautiful creation. fenn and i had a sweet time with one another. she is so very gentle, metamorphisizing into the new mother mode. it was wonderful to see the life fenn has brought into the world. my two very best friends have shared so much with me, i feel so blessed to be apart of their children's lives now too. i wonder, semi often about what my children's faces will look like. wide eyed and bird squeaked, i'm sure.

i so extremely thrilled to make two very important SHOUTS! i am sure fenn would like to announce her own website debut, but considering she hasn't got a blog, i'm beating her to the punch. there is much to look forward to-in seeing her body of work. and with that i am also so very proud and excited with katie in her website debut. she's already annouced the opening/beginning on her blog so i'm not ruining the delight for her. my goal is that as many people as possible get to see, see more art! i wanted to add that in my brief viewing, her work is superb an absolute crushing and stirring delight! congratulations kate, god has given you and awesome gift and today it will bring hope and inspiration to so many!

i too feel a thrill at my own artsy success. matt and i went by mjb on sunday, even though they were closed. peeking through the darkened restuarant i saw that two more pieces had sold tags on them! yeeeeaaa! so now that is a total number of FIVE pieces sold!!! WOW, you don't know how totally shocked i am. giddy almost. i mean i've had my ups and downs about the whole thing, which i haven't mentioned much. revolving around my struggle, always with putting a monetary value on my work. each time i have been asked about my work down there or have gone near the place i step into a funkyswamp of defensiveness and distress. what has been up with my stinking attitude? sadly my stink surfaced again yesterday at peering through. i noticed i sold elephant pieced-the print for fifty bucks. matt became frustrated immediately saying that i had sold it for much much less than it's worth! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRICE MY WORK!!!

the struggle was that most people don't walk into a restuarant and buy work, so my thought was to make my art accessible and possible for the common people to purchase something i find wonderful and beautiful. anyway, at this point i just have to trust god that i am doing the right thing. i am pricing and selling my work based not on the profit of it all, but on this very foriegn thought that people in my town are fairly artistically challenged-just my crazy persception. we have a great hunter, we have several fine galleries, but alas the scene with which i fit and work within is very nearly void. i am not saying my art is any better than that which hang on some of these great established galleries but my goodness, where, i mean really where is the urban art, the rugged real stuff? fine fine art is nice, but gosh shouldn't we be passed it. aren't we passed it? so...my second point in pricing low or as i'd like to say "affordable", is that art must be accessible or else i do nothing for myself as an artist or my audience. i will never isolate myself in the community i live in, by thinking or portraying my work in a gallery that doubles my price to make a 50% profit. if i do it will be my own gallery and the profits, so help me god, will go towards better art education and a spectacular gallery-interactive. no snobbery allowed! blind audience art! et cetera.

now until i think of anything else to share on the subject with which you may laugh and think be utterly retarded. i will rest the issue.

i my spare spare time when procrastinating this swap or this must write letter to h or l or l or k, i have been working on this piece i have decide to call 'blind border patrol.' inspired by my last piece, 'der hund' and the severe roach investation matt had in his apartment last summer. though not completed, this piece is a drawing with paint markers. see my flickr acct for more...



the coloring is different in all the pics because i was messing with my still so very new to me SD450. the week before me looks like a full and complete week, with a whole lot more joy and whole lots less thinking about the past...thank you for your love and prayers. smoking this past weekend was treachorous only at the most five cigs a day though. sorry to end on such a negative note. i won't be giving up though.

when rest comes

i can feel a whole lot better knowing that saturday and sunday are free, open and clear days for me to be able to do whatever i please.

unfortunately i have had a less than desirable week. i have been ill or rather should i say out of sorts. it was all to be expected and there's no blame to shift but on being human. life can be difficult no matter what, no matter how much joy one tries to pile upon the pits. joy should be endless in my heart, hold me accountable! all it takes for me to remember to be selfless is a walk through children's to find the bald heads of mini people walking thru. or a call from an attorney, asking for an informal interview, to ask me questions about my house fire four years ago. yet and so my heart has been comforted this afternoon, in a walk, in prayer for my dear friend, in conversation with my mother and matt. i also have some really great friends that have been emailing me and commenting here or there. it's not enough to just wish for the joy, it's not enough to just pray for joy, i have got to muscle up and arm out the dogs. if it takes rearranging my schedule or thoughts, so be it. joy is necessary for the my life to continue.

i think it has all come down to the last ten years of my life. i have spent all of this time, up until now, totally angry, totally pissed off (which sounds like the same thing but it isn't), totally insecure and unhappy with my appearance, job, friends, and family. i have neglected my health all the way around the spectrum of me. my spirit has twisted itself into a dirty knot, my heart has been eaten by the scoundrel of negative feelings, feelings unbalanced and unprovoked, misplaced and cornered out of creativity and love. my mind has become a bredding ground for all kinds of justification, manipulation and murder. where aren't thou my god and how long must i wait? i am tortured under the weight of being me and will die if i am limited to my own view. god is my identity, when may i rest in him? this day, this hour, this minute. in this work, word, craft and cause. where did my mom come up with such wisdom as this: life is a long obedience in the same direction.

these last weeks have been slightly more defining. i feel the 'refiner's fire' even if it has self imposed matchlighting. the biggest struggle for me today and for the weekend will be to stay away from the god awful cigarettes, the disgusting habit and such. cigarettes have been my friend for about 10 years now and if i don't quit i will die from them. 1 into 2 smokers die. i also may be limited in the workforce, but hell i'm not thinking about that, just my two lungs, my heart and brain matter. if you believe in miracles, you'll have to pray for one, because that is what it is going to take.

secondly i have to continue to eat and drink well, inorder to support my new outlook on life and my exercise regimen-if that's what you wanna call it.

i must go to church on sunday. the word is my rock.

i will have much art and project to work on too. i have started three new paintings as possibly mentioned. two of sunflowers for a paying coworker customer and one of a bicycle. a yellow bicycle. i have several packages that must be sent out or else these beautiful people won't ever want to talk with me again. i have a gift for arlo, and something for fenn, and my swap partner cannot be disappointed and a return letter to snl-laurie. and all kinds of fun things.

so...i do not need prayer as much as some, but i know i may be facing some difficult things in two to three weeks. i do not know what they may or will be except "housefire" stuff. i need much grace and merciful thoughts. i need love, most of all love. i need patience and all the other fruits. i want people to know that i am different but i also want to be open. have a good one.

no waste wednesday

it is another wednesday, another day, another joy, another headache. no day to waste, but do and be all that you can. take every breath. breathe. i am trying to remember the joy but man o man, somedays rough times just keep coming. i will feel better once the day has past, even though i've got to head out to the rx.

today i am just going to link you all up with some of my daily and weekly blogroles. i know it takes time to go through all the links but there are some truly amazing blogs and bloggers out there. i never feel too badly about not getting to read and visit with all of these people, it is impossible. plus i know that hardly anyone except for my family, friends (kate) come to phantomcrimes. it is a full time job, reading and responding. but i'm telling you...

cori

6.5 st

redcurrent

project vicki

jessica williams

nubblywubbly

misprinted type