tuesday's with reflection

i have not been participating very often or at all lately with self portrait tuesdays. and i also have not got a whole lot of fresh spt material. i have posted many a reflection foto from last winter. i was excited about the dinocam, scarf, and lighting last year so i took a whole bunch of these...

this year i haven't taken so many winter coat portraits. although i was fortunate to get a very nice coat as a early birthday present from my mom. the saturday after thanksgiving we went to the mall and she found a wool blend peacoat @ br. it was an internet returned item, one of a kind on the shelf sort of thing, marked down way below original price, like close to half off and wham bam it was mine, plus i had leftover giftcard moolah to spend toward it. i could not believe it, fitting me perfectly. which is nearly always impossible due to the fact that i am so very short and stout, squat and potato like. my arms are usually swallowed in coats. this go around is a beaut. the other cool amazing thing is that i had been wearing my mom's ole' kindly coat as pictured, ever since the housefire three years ago, so the coat found was a much anticipated phenom!

i would like to encourage you to look at some of the other spt's this month. my reflect. is without the head this go around. too often i become consumed with the daily prep work it takes to get out the door. i usually end up at work five minutes late with half my hair fuzzy and the other half faded out blah. these kinds of pics make me feel good though. warm and cozy.

holiglaze bejoy and rejoy

i have been looking for holiday cards to send out to family and friends. so finally be looking, because here's what's cooking. hillary @ weewonderfuls has brought forth a brillant little card for the season, if i must say so. i was also able to pur-chase down another set of her postcards, a possible xmas present or a treat for me. i must seem selfish to all of you. i am a stationary junkie, addicted to the best in design and feel of paper. help me, i need help. fenn also has given me xmas cards with tiny little cats, very fitting.

i had a really nice weekend. although i worked on saturday, my really nice boss at the rx let me off on sunday, so that i could decorate the tree, with my fam. we had an incredible afternoon together. it felt real and more importantly like we were on a united front. because of all of the monumental changes within our family i suggested that we pray together as a family. so we did and i cannot tell you how good it was. we each took a turn at expressing thankfulness an then a request from christ, for something we would like to see change in our lives. man, it was just like a dream, a utopia sort of feeling, but not cheesy, we laughed and cried and felt like one. we were trying to escape anything by praying for one another, we just wanted to let one another know.

i want to do a christmas list here, like kate. but i want to actually give gift suggestions, incase you all need ideas for other people.

1. how about a brillantly beautiful necklace from j. bliss.

2. i can think of a couple of people who'd benefit from getting a popcorn bowl from elsewhere's.

3. if you are in the neighborhood, go check out the fredflare's warehouse. you'll find lots of incredible gifts for all your loved and unloved ones. whatever you want.

4. don't forget about lotta jansdotter. her name is sprinkled amoungst these blog pages and many others. ie. a bird in the hand caught up with her at readymade. which, if your wondering, a very special holiday offer of $19.95 is all it would take to make this happy girl into a bejoyful girl (

5. shop at motel and find lots o familiar artists' names and handmade beautiful work, visual and practical. join the millions who shop online every single year. yeehaw. i'm a freakin advertisment feelin it in my creakin bones.

6. and for your favorite foreign friends check out BG. the mostest beauty, just in japanese. you'll need help i'm sure.

i'll have to save some for later. i even found a cool website for bundt pans in the shape of cathedrals. how cool is that?

how i got over

part of my trip to new jersey at the end of october was spent visiting with my nana's brother, my uncle john. sixteen years ago my great grandparents decided to sell their farm. at the time the competition was growing and it was difficult to compete with the larger farms that 800-900 acres, corporate. where theirs was 300-400 acres, i think??? but still selling to campbell's for tomato soup. my brothers and i were so very interested in our uncle john's tractors and so the day of nana's funeral we spent outside in the glorious weather enjoying the chugging of tractors, the autum color and small moments of overwhelming nostalgia. i have always been intrigued with tractors, not ever knowing of their mechanisims or able to drive them. just loving their colors and characters. each much like us humans. uncle john has developed this little huge hobby and has ended up rebuilding all of like six tractors. he's got them all stored in a nice big garage outside his home. red just kicks ass!!! don't you all think so too?

look at the joy. can you imagine anything better, at that moment in time i couldn't. my brothers have both said at seperate times that the trip to new jersey was one of their most favorite things ever, being with one another was just amazing. now that i am home and have been home all of november, things are settling a bit and i do not feel as crazed as i did. although with the holidays approaching i definitely do not feel up to speed. i have been working on xmas tags that i must take photos of for you and also i am doing the paper flower thing to. i am responsible for making kate knutson's very famous in our family spice cookies. she told me that one year her mom made them in the cookie cutter shape of martin luther for reformation day which is also halloween. it might be tasteless or blasphemy but would a baby jesus be going over board? i saw this incredible show last night on pbs about the 3 kings of orient are... or the three magi. so very interesting. i'll pop the link sometime soon. also you might wanna check out INSTYLE's holiday publication, as well as REAL SIMPLE has a nice holiday edition, also coming to PBS. i am getting over the down feeling, markedly i have seen three very serious accidents every single night tues, wednes and last night. tuesday a car hit a telephone pole, wednesday, i was the first to arrive or come across a car flipped in a ditch, then last night a pile up on the freeway at 4th street. the highway was completely closed. i don't know if the guy in the wednesday night accident was alright-unconscience, unmoving. the girl was alright and seemed unhurt. very very scary!!!

looking forward to next weekend, visiting atl. tell you about it next post.

before the bellyfull

we were blessed to be able to have thanksgiving out of doors at my aunt c.'s house on friday, not thursday, this year. it was a chill beautiful day, no unlike today. a roaring bonfire, with all of the traditional feasting. my entire family came round, except for the missed few...mommom, poppop, aunt d.(you know who you are!) and ray. i ended up making a great martha pecan pie, homemade crust too! it ended up being a little runny, but after putting it in the microwave it didn't matter. i'm for sure going to make it again. i also made my jungle gym cookies which were a hit, another secret by the way is cooking them for only about five minutes, that way they barely cook. still soft like dough, you know? so that's how my baking went. we had turkey and ham, which i do not eat. along with all veggies and stuffing and stuff, my mom made a great grape salad too.

so i'm back just barely though. i had not posted in such a while i was beginning to think i'd never be back. but when i got these fotos back i could not resist the temptation to blog o way.

these two and the one in the background are my three favorite men in the world. have the two most incredible brothers in the world, e. on the left, aaron in the middle and great scott on the right (my cute little dad). this would have to be one of my favorite pics from the day. e. just looks so handsome. i used to live in the little house with the well in the background. when i first moved out of my parents house 12 years ago, geez i'm freakin old. my aunt has a little cottage, two bedrooms, very cozy and just perfect for me at the time. look @ e.'s new birthday coat. he's got the bluest eyes, the only one in the fam.

i'm excited, tonight i'm going over to fenn's house for dinner, so i won't be here very long. i've got tons of pics to share. although you are welcome to check them out on the left via flickr.

i'll be back very soon. have to share all of my xmas crafting with you.

these are tender days i walk through, as if all of life an egg to be easily crushed, smothered or instantly gone. at once i feel protected and sheltered, thankful beyond compare for all that has been given to me. yet dissheveled and healing from wounds long since uncovered and made to bleed again. i have been away, so concentrating on my work, here at the practice, my blog is a dear distraction. alas i am back, briefly, because of the quickly approaching holiday. a belated self portrait. last winter, sporting my long long scarf made by the mommom in my life. it is indeed the dark part of the year again. and boy does it feel that way emotionally too. although i was feeling rather sprite and untouchable, despite my nana's death, things were looking up. but blow after blow. and that isn't complaining, pure truth. when a member from the body of christ is lost, for whatever reason, it is a difficult time. trying to understand god's decision to affect one family more than any other is an impossible task. i have oftened wondered about the protection god has granted and provided for me and the rest of my family. i am reminded that there isn't anything that i can do to protect myself anymore than what god does on a daily basis.

all that i can do right now is pray. pray with every ounce of my being.

in other ways, around this corner. my life. i am going to bake something for thanksgiving, which we are doing at aunt cathy's on friday, outside in the blistery weather, though hopefully sunny. i have not quite made up my mind, muddling over pumpkin pie, apple pie, pumpkin cupcakes, or my jungle gym choc. chip cookies. the jungle gym is the name i just gave them. because they've been getting rave reviews. shocking me. the secrets to baking a good cookie are as follows,

use the purest ingredients, not necessarily organic though. real butter, that sort of thing. no egg beaters. don't worry so much about measuring, always try to round up a little. i have the recipe...