do we know

after yesterday, events surrounding the london bombings, i started to think again of what it is i stand for. how can i know such things, i feel as this child looks, from cherry hood's perspective. i did not work yesterday, instead i got a brand new hair arrangement, that is a "do" for summer. a red hot punk rock style that blew my fellow co workers away when i stepped in this morning. yikes! so red, so you, so i would be scared to rock that cut! i am thirty years old in december and have never felt much like fitting into the typical female: hair, nails, make up the summer glow-melanoma. it has just been a few months, the weight falling off, a hair salon gift certificate that has really honestly motivated me to look better. not for all of the disgusting superficial reasons, but because my heart is feeling better too. although i've not quite quit the smoking habit.

yesterday morning i woke up early. my friend called to say he was going to be out of work for the day and that i should turn on the television. sure enough. london was said to have handled the immediate obstructions very well. how will they do today, tomorrow, a year from now? yeah they didn't have the smells, the white film or any of those horrific scenes from four years ago in new york, so maybe as the media put it, it will be easier for them to get over.

i do not believe it. i do not believe it. there isn't getting over anything of the sort. pretending, masking and denying, sure, that's probable. oh and the terrorists i understand, love to see our governments flit and flutter about infront of television cameras/microphones pouncing on our emotions re: civil liberties my ass, gender equality and the famous god given freedoms, turning me off. isn't it true that it's our policy they hate, by our policy we are interrupting in their processes, being there, interceding, cornering and pocketing the upperhand. will our diplomacy change, will we lose the will, can we put an end to the patriot act, or homeland security, do we know anything for sure?

yesterday, as another day has passed. i went with my sister n law to the stone cup for lunch and got burnt sitting out in the sun. i don't need to be getting accidentally burnt. not a pleasant thing.
melissa c. if you are out there reading. keep your little eyes peeled to the mailbox. treasures headed your way real soon.

chinsey one heart

one heart and the greatest little stuffed pieces linking me from pr1mary space. check out the links and see these artists pushing the envelope. i really like this parskid's work, i'd also like to participate in month of softies with something like this within the confines of the theme.

two hearts are better than one...i love love this too, totally inspired. wow and how sweet is this, see the gallery and picture yourself in one of these, or having one hanging on your living room wall. i totally think i am in the wrong place. i have been "working" my privileged ass off all weekend to produce a few descent pieces, but i do not feel the product is up to par. i definitely think i am getting there on a few levels, but really all that i think i ought to do is quit my nine to five and start busting the move on this art thing. otherwise i will dry up and be a crusty old paintbrush.



oh i have been having a difficult time with posting the photos that i want, this new photo op isn't working so well for me and i have struggled with this one entry until now. slightly giving in to the old ways of dealing. i did want to catch up, shape up or ship out and show you all what i have been looking at. savoring the bits and pieces of what makes me excited. i must say that even though this post is from june i am now in july and so happy. two weeks away from taking two long awaited vacations. cannot help but wish i was going to the city, but hilton with the knuts will be fantastic.

my linkage above may be just a bit yuck, so i'll try and explain. pr1mary space a gallery i found that has links to all these other great artist sites. hope you don't mind. the elephant is from here. it is the color and line i love so often in these sorts of works. also i've found the amathin gallery of art by amy dickey. the below pic is just a small sample of my favorites from her. wish i could be...as i said above.



okay so i have been working hard on a couple of pieces. i am now finishing up my clipboard pieces. these things have been sitting around in my apartment for so long, they were beginning to rot away. so i am doing a plant and bees thing on one and then a bird and fish thing on the other and i had already done a cityscape on one, but i'm not touching it up. cannot say too much or add a photo, but it definitely does feel good.

i am making collage boxes again and think i may have mentioned that. and let's see. this past weekend i saw jennifer kring. i got super doper sick o' rama, but survived well enough to visit with her. she had very exciting news. a baby kring is coming in february o 2006. she's nine weeks. gosh, how exciting! congrats jen. and for all you out there, like erin p. i hope this doesn't come as a great shock.

i really don't have much time to write. look forward to catching up more later. just wanted to get one out to you all.

computer additions

here again is a lovely photo from veer. you ought to really check it out. there are so many photos to pick from and ways to search for specs. i intentionally was looking for images with the color orange. this seemed nice, much like the robot in an earlier post. we all have ways of endorsing, broadcasting and showing off our works of art, words of art and thoughts. i often times don't have much to say here, but a picture says quite a bit. i know that you are supposed to pay veer for their products, and i've said it before, but why don't they put some sort of block on their photos? i don't feel morally obligated at this point, i'm not copping the stuff as my own. give credit where credit is due or be sued. right?

the office has been quiet today. although that is because two of my direct co workers are out. i had a crap o la morning due to the fact that every time i turned around there was a patient at my window or their windows, a phone call, or a printer issue. i would just like a day when nothing, absolutely nothing goes awry. these are the sorts of days i feel free enough to do a little bit more www surfing. if you know what i mean? getting a way with a little bit more blogging time. so this is what i have done and you may have noticed. i am taking the steps to include some of you little by little into the growth, one year old baby of mine, "phantomcrimes." i started my, 'knowing me by my roots' the friendships and works of others that inspire me and push me to grow into a family tree. 'dinocam ph2s' are open for your veiwing pleasure. i feel less inclined to share so many photos with you, on the condition that you won't make fun of the pictorial quality or the subject matter. i am an experimentor, not a trendsetter dudes! there is also 'the past', which are obviously my last entries and then 'another life,' which is fitting considering the fact that my one year anniversary is right around the corner and i feel a life away from where i began here one year ago. does that make sense?

so there you have it. i know lots of fellow bloggers work towards some fun way of celebrating the time gone by, but i have no clue. forget it, i'm not a sport for putting something up for you. no cake, no ballons, no firecrackers. just the disabling of your minds.

take a number

there was enough for me to do this weekend, i actually ran out of time. i also wanted to see a and a again, but did not feel so much like watching a film. motorcycle diaries, i am sure you have seen it. i have spent no money on movie going recently, nor have i been renting any of those dvds. i got into watching a bit of wimbeldon and started big fish all over again, but didn't watch it all the way through. i had to work on friday and saturday, which was not too bad. i have begun to see how customers that come into the rx on the weekends are much more stressed and generally very rude. i have a small theory about their demise on the loveliest of weekends. first off, they attempt to spend time with their families, cramming in as much activity as virtually possible, though realistically impossible. they are accustomed to spending the entire week away from the family and that is nice, especially for working parents, who are weak ass and cannot handle their own kids. weekends tend to be times when people are more needy and want more than they can get. they've spent their days out on the lake, boat or at little league baseball games and they are grumpy, hot, irratible and too impatient. i do not think that cvs is a difficult place to shop. but people act like their worlds are about to fall apart when the rx doesn't have something they think it ought. ice cream? ping pong balls? doral cigarettes? one hour photo?

i got a package off to one of my friends yesterday. it has taken a long time, well over due. but i hope she likes it and it's a surprise for her. i also got a couple letters out, to some of my snailmail pals. that was enjoyable, due to the fact that i've gotten some great stationary. i started another series of potholders, the first of many decoupage boxes to come. i ate my granola on ice cream and took off with the crossword puzzles. i started reading the da vinci code a couple of weeks ago, spent an hour in my cozy queen, snugglin bunglin snoozin and semi thinking the book could be better. i have been totally influenced by ep's point of view on the subject.

i started wearing my summer skirts and am working on my spectacular sunless tan. per jergens glow, the regional hit. kate came up from atl and we spent a part of sunday together. we talked shop, art, baby this and that, saw a man get arrested outside of my building, car towed and the bit. eden b slept most of the time and i couldn't believe the pics kate took of josiah at coolidge park. fantastic times!

yesterday i was going to hang out with aaron and ashleigh and possibly laurie, they had made other plans. i went for this enormous walk around the southside. i rarely have the op and the sun was so hot and i was frigid in my apt. (never have to pay heating or air, cranking it up). i met cesna at his studio and a guy, jerry who is an artist. people or rather tourists were out all over the place. totally exciting. mad and blasted beat cops protecting the tourists from the residence of this city. saw it on the news believe it or not. the city has got to make the moolah.

i started a new bird painting too. the activity has worn me out and tonight i've got to work. yuck.

travel channel with ac

we woke up in new jersey this morning @ six thirty, explaining these thoughts, comprehending the experience. driving through semi eighteen wheels precisely there to intimidate us. keep me alert laurie. play the song louder in my ear. watch your corners, use your blinker. safe and keeping homeward bound. via the northeast excursions for their anniversary, summer vacations. it turns out that new york is easy to drive through once you get there, once you've found amsterdam. wall street is heavier than i thought and the un, the un, isn't that where we should be putting the pressure on? there is a empty space of controversey in place where the towers were. it is bundled up in layers upon layers of mesh fencing. a blank stare, one more open wound, scratching the surface. dc highlights bring the smithsonian front and center. five hours and barely touching the surface, but the holocaust museum and daniel the child you followed through, he taught you about his life. the scenes and signs behind the window blinds. there were facts, not as gruesome as auschwitz though. oh and i saw sean puffy combs, are you sure? how did you know. girls were giggling all over the place, he had a massive bodyguard. brushed shoulders with him and paced over his sidewalk footsteps. i cannot believe it, your ninth grade students are going to flip.

we spent an entire day with dad's, mother and father at the masonic home. i know i did that and it was absolutely amazing. yes and they do seem more active than we are, how do they remain so vibrate and young. the energy level as off the scales. well yes i know they are retired and so so so happy. i played every piano and organ, i ran out of things to play. i saw the computer rooms on every single floor.

you brought back ashleigh with you. for ten days. why can't she stay longer. oh how we wish she were older, but georgia said she was so cute.

oh and then there was georgia. my personal body double. although we aren't exactly of the same character and personality the common ground is there. and then last night at the same time, at the pickle barrel, after aaron, laurie and lil ashleigh left i sat and discussed with someone the ins and outs of genre specific rights, feminisim, family "values" or the lack there of, and why i feel the way i do about my value as a woman, my part in society, my role in a relationship, my position at work, et cetera. i may be strange or odd because i know what i want. georgia, melinda, and marcus said they had no idea what they want in a relationship. geez, i am sorry. as unsympathetic as it may sound i'd say when you don't know what you want you are probably on the edge of being someone no one wants. i pitch a fit about the quality of men, these days, all the time. my exaggeration is obvious isn't it? but i certainately know and feel comfortable with who i am and what the right way to go about making a relational choice.

i feel the insecurity just about like everyone else does. i think the true difference, which may make me a better balance in this discussion is that i am far more willing to accept my failure. it is just as hard for me as it is for the next person, but i can accept responsibility. in grace i am entirely free. mostly free of myself, free of trying moments, endless struggle, and broken relationships. there is not pride other than that which christ has given to me to share with others. i am glad though for the opportunity to speak with these peers of mine. the distance between myself and society often feels like great depths. i tend to accept a portion of my life and forget about all of the rest. i tire of the boring self examinating, over analytical disscussion. but at the same time, last night was a pleasant experience, that led me to a late night tossing and turning, counting.

there is news on the homefront: mom and dad went to court on tuesday and the judge granted my parentals temporary guardianship of emily, little em. i may have mentioned it already, but it deserves the attention. the battle thus far has been won and we can praise god for his mercy, grace, love and victory.

i also made for the first time the granola that kate was so dear to include on her site. my first attempt got a thumbs up from ole mb, so that's good. it sure does make a whole hell of a lot of grand ola!!! thank you kate, i'll let you know about how the ole granola goes thru me. chewy so far, but i suppose it needed to bake a bit longer. i like the raisins, but i don't know so much about the amounts of flour/wheat germ or whatever. i made it work. hi fi gi.