podcasting

have you heard? do you know? are you up to speed on this? podcasting just heard about it this afternoon while on my break. there is a bunch of it going on, so much for pirate radio.

well i had a fairly good weekend. last friday all hell broke loose at work, but i must say i stood my ground. so today i gave one of my coworkers a letter i wrote and i'm not receiving the silent treatment anymore.

on saturday the weather came me in and i worked on my card for hope. i sent it out yesterday and can't wait to hear what she thinks. big ups for ideas like hers. otherwise i'd still be with nervousness.org and bored. i also have a very special surprise heading up hillary's way. i have some insecurity about it all because hillary happens to be a softie seamstress and i am barely a paper seamstress. i can't much count on a straight sewing line on paper. although i favor the crooked line more. i'd really don't want to use too much glue, so while sewing i use paperclips which fasten my pieces together long enough for me to get them together. i don't have fancy stitching and i rarely sew backwards, but sewing on martha stewart ribbon and the sort has been overwhelmingly rewarding.

i finished my landscape project the night before last and last night i started my family tree photo quilt. i'm not as eager or optimistic this go around. it's was much harder deciding how to start. after all i really know nothing about the family pictured in the photos. but i did manage to pick through the organization and find a pattern. a very loose, raw sort that won't speak to the family ties that bind or anything like that, but oh well. maybe i'll forge another path with this project. and forget sewing leaves, the photopaper is way to fragile. i suppose i enjoy the white, brown and black tones of the photos more than anything right now.

i also am starting a part time job at cvs pharmacy on saturday. horray, oh my goodness i'm so excited. more moolah and financial peace. i sat down with my father on sunday to discuss and plan my financial future. it sounds ridiculous i know. i'm twenty nine and struggling habitually with my money. habits are difficult to break and though i have a good job and make plenty of money to support myself i am not able to do a few very important things. i also know that marriages with money issues easily fall apart, so it's better to face this now while i'm free of all that. i know there are millions of people out there much more responsible than i but it really doesn't matter to me. if you don't have car debt, you have school debt, if you don't have school debt you have credit card debt and if you don't have credit card debt you have wedding, children, home, or vacation debt. what is done is done, i must move forward. which i look forward in doing. so i'll be heading down to atlanta on saturday afternoon for j.j.k's second bday. all will work out and i feel much better than i have been for quite some time.

bb gun

ASIDE:
ugh this morning has been treacherous. i couldn't have had a more tenuous experience. if there's a threat of me going crazy about anything, it'll be because of the healthcare system, first and foremost. McDonald's chickens, Alaskan whales, and our prized celebrity's baby names receive more attention and acknowledgement than our own health and welfare. as a tried and true american i am force-fed, to neglect all intellect and self respect for the sake of my superiors, as listed above. humanity no longer calls itself human. it is a suffocation that creeps up on you, the reason that, possibly, andy couldn't stand 'finding neverland.' because we are incapable of appreciating, even the nothing we live in, the nothing we live for. the nothing that's been given to us, that we chose to accept. the lack of concern for others, the explosive desire for "my rights" to be heard and legislated. a motivation warped by immorality, but worse. a hundred thousand bb guns going off piercing my eyes and heart.

and at this point in the early afternoon i'm not as mad as i was. this is a timid attempt at trashing existence, hope and the american dream. do you realize that no matter where you are, who you try it with, how much you fight, democracy is difficult to pull off? i'm not even able to pull democracy off in myself, much less lead others. so why are we so angry at g.w.b for the war in iraq. we're at war in our own country over how to conduct true democracy. it wouldn't matter who was president. no one could convince me otherwise that bush/kerry has an upper hand, sovereign knowledge. what happened to taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, words, and thoughts? why do you need a government?

i will be a hypocrite, that is without question. one thing i have learned is that i am guilty of making my own rules and breaking my own rules. to me that's the purest fruition of freedom.

today my issues are: (in the so called news)

burt and ernie are gay along with spongebob and dora the explorer.

selling adopted children back to the country they came from.

divorce

suicidal self centered trainwrecks (literally)

conda rice: what has your secretary of state done for you lately?

health insurance companies, drug manufacturing companies, drug companies, drug company funded grants/foundations for 'their' drug replacement programs, medicare

BSIDE:
tomorrow is a free jairus show @ tbones. yeehaw. there's a free dj for and hr show at the nation of cat's house every night.

got a beautiful little sweater in the mail from hillary that'll be making into something: pillow, purse or eden poncho maybe.


thanks moocho hill, if you're out there reading my mumbo gumbo.

this weekend i'll be compiling the trade for you, hill and hope.

purr-fect paper

never shall i slumber. i may not be an origami master, but surely i'm a paper warrior. last night i couldn't sleep at all and i gave up television's reality for the miraculous machine. "your life is a blessing." i have had amazing success with the paint chips and feel the piece coming together. i set aside my painting and felt the need to sew the night away. i think i may have irritated my neighbor above or he has heavy feet. my machine is so small but on the counter it must vibrate a bit. after working with stitches i never want to go back to the sticky, mark making glue. the monochromatic shades of blue and green paint chips with yellow and light green stitches. how amazing. i have never done anything like this before and have been waiting for this day.

when i finally decided to go to bed, i ended up tossing and turning for an hour. all the while projects swarming around my mind's eye. a little over a year ago i went to jazzy junk on rossville blvd with my aunt. i was fortunate enough to find an old taffy box full of even older black and white photos, a hundred at least and for only twelve dollars. what an amazing find, a fantastic medium, but i couldn't think of a way to utilize them. i originally thought of creating a family tree out of them and very nearly organized them chronologically. it was a wonderful task, taking time to inspect facial features and pencil scrawled notes around the edges. suddenly before drifting off i thought of sewing a family tree together. i'd love to use silver thread and possibly do a tree design. if a tree doesn't work out i'll do a simple square and sew the tree, with leaves and such over the photos, in corners. i think it sounds like a suitable next project.

collage with paper is limitless. i don't think i'll ever run out of material. hey guys, martha stewart is having a huge sale, 70% off. i took a looksy, very picked over but a few things maybe of interest. someone told me that the magazine will be ending. does anyone know if that is true or not. i'm too this way in denial to research.



valentines is right around the corner too. oooh can't wait.

remembering mae

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transistor with dj for an hour

i am fiending for new and improved photos, i've taken them, but they are floating in the camera. i also have got to get to the north chattanooga playground at night to take some photos. last night i should of, but it was way to cold and tonight is julia's home. so maybe later on this week i'll have an opening.

last night i was ultra-successful at sewing at least fifty odd paint chips together in a semi-quilt design. rally round the europro. it's a trooper of a machine. handling several widths of paper and my pulling, pushing, unpracticed hand. i couldn't take a nap last night after work. my nerve endings were fragmented from work, as usual. i had had an interesting discussion with one of my coworkers and it left me feeling peeked and faint from the mental exertion and emotional pentup-ness. i am not an experienced billing/insurance person. i don't want to do things the same way they've always been done. i don't have direction or support. there is no accountability and i will make some off the wall decisions. but i do feel i am a rookie and that there is too much for me to learn in a day. i feel that i am expected to know things that there's really no way in hell i could have known. oh well. i will prepare to leave when all is well with the software. i know that i keep saying that but it's oh so very true. no one can stop me. hahahaha...

i've got to keep in mind that all will be fine in the end. with cvs around the corner and feeling more and more hopeful about 4Bridges. everyday i consider the possiblilities of having an acceptance letter. oh and back the paint chip quilt. it is absolutely beautiful. i'm debating a yellow threaded sunshine or something less realistic. this past weekend i got good deal of advice from my friend phillip about the painting i was working on. i didn't go to church on sunday and kept hunting up solutions for the painting. finally by midnight i was eager to hang it and let it get cold for a while. too much energy was passing right through it and all that was sticking was the negative moves. so it's ahangin'. and i like it but it does need more sprucing and tweaking.

i ended up having an after party for andrew stewart at my house on saturday evening, which turned out to be a blast. i'm thinking that if the 4Bridges doesn't come together i may have my own exhibit opening in my own home. advertise the selling of art, send out invites et cetera et cetera. would you come? and did you know that i have more cards for sale. you'll have to trust me on their looks. eventually i'll have a photo up of them. but seriously boys and girls there's enough to go around. thank you for your continued prayers. i feel the uplifting hands of god around my heart and mind each day.