parade vs. harpers

do any of you ever read harpers? i don't know of many people who do. we have a subscription to it here at work and occasionally if i see something of interest i'll take it for my personal consumption. i particularly like the art but every once in a while there's something like this:


Death Be Not Proud
Posted on Thursday, March 18, 2004. The following is a list of "theme funerals" compiled by the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association. Originally from Harper's Magazine, December 2002.
SourcesAirport: If the loved one was a pilot, rent a hangar at the local airport. Local pilots would fly out of hangar, land, and line up their aircraft in order of age of craft.

Aquarium: Rent the local aquarium after hour of closing. Excellent viewing environment.

Banker: Rent a local bank or use your local branch. Set up on the officers' side of the building, and make sure the window blinds are closed. Still gives the family some privacy.

Boat Cruise: Rent a three-hour boat cruise. An environment for viewing and also for cremation service.

Family Reunion: Loved one is placed in the living room of host family as the family celebrates annual family reunion.

Go-cart Racing: Only during the spring and summer, after closing hours. Excellent viewing location. The visiting family and friends use go-carts. Dress the loved one in a car-racing suit.

Horse Racing: Rent the track during off-season. Viewing in the horse stables, and jockey uniform on the deceased. Use racing tickets and racing booklet as program, with obituary included within.

Living Room: Loved one is laid out near a La-Z-Boy lounger, with television, remote control, and faux cigar in the ashtray.

New Orleans Jazz Funeral: Two-horse-drawn hearse with jazz band leading to cemetery. Along with two dozen doves released.

Shopping-Mall Spree: Some malls have rental space available for meetings. Use this area for viewing. Funerals cannot be held during the day, due to poor taste for shoppers.

Toy Land: Excellent for the kid in all of us. Use all the favorite toys, TV shows, and records, as well as movies. Posters and banners are extra touches.

Train: Old train museum for viewing and funeral. Before leaving for cemetery, put family and body on a three-mile train ride (returns back to the museum). Then to the cemetery.

Wal-Mart (or special store of choice): Have the viewing room in a store. Use signs, discounts, and items most purchased by the deceased.

Working Man: All the working tools of the person's profession or trade. Dress in work clothes; if not, have the clothing on a plastic adult doll. A 4x4 will be used as the hearse to the cemetery.

Zoo Keeper: Rent the local zoo, after closing, for a private viewing. NOTE: the location would be where the deceased visited often. In a recent case, it was the elephant area.



one of my coworkers just told me she wants to write a book. i told her about first books. i once wanted to write a book. when i found this place a sales rep called me once a month to see how my book was coming along. kinda funny because i hadn't really ever started and i had no news to tell him of the book writing sort. we mostly just talked about the weather or something less interesting.

some of you may also know about this little place. sometimes if i want to cheer up by exhausting my game playing fingers i'll go to orisinal. i hope you like it as much as i do.

euro pro

i can't believe that i never have thought once about just buying my own sewing machine. i have always thought them to be way too expensive and really all i had to do was go to target and find the machine section. my dear friend kate nicely informed me of how inexpensive a sewing machine could be. i don't need or want anything fancy. just a little plastock sewing machine. my next payday is on october sixth and possibly then i'll have the moolah to spend on a euro pro.

tonight i'm going to a picnic at a park. i hope i have good time. i also think it might be a good time to get some more babysitting jobs.

if she were me

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i have admired loretta lux photography for some time now. thinking that most of you had found her by now i was too hesitant to bring her up again. i find the photographs to be quite mesmerizing and rather charming. i especially like this little one, with the orange blouse. i often feel like this tiny girl or i'll imagine myself in her shoes, with her crossed arms and face.

i am so glad that autumn is finally on it's way i've missed the coolness. ever sense i was younger, this time of year gives me butterflies in my stomach. it could be that it was time to go back to school after a long hot summer and seeing all of my friends made for anxious morning stomach gurbles. oddly though i'm not going back to school and the gurbles come back in the morning and in the afternoon when i get off work, right before i get into bed for an early evening nap. outside in the parking lot across the street there are three yellow trees that i park underneath. they have lost the majority of their leaves and the scent is musty like a campfire.

i have been inspired to work again in a scrapbook. it came upon me when i worked with s'more last tuesday night on an independent project for her ap art class. i haven't done a really nice collage in some time and that might be because i've ran clean out of my personal stock of color copies. i have been painting so often in the last couple of years that the only time i do a collage is for the purpose of invitations or stationary. the thing i mostly want is a sewing machine. i'm desperately seeking one (my mother's mother's) sewing machine. i'll continue to beg and plead with her for it, but her response is always the same. "it needs to be fixed, then i'll put it to use myself." oh brother. i refuse to sew anything by hand. i'd like kinko's to invest in a few sewing machines for those of us less fortunate. that way we can have our cards printed and sewn conveniently at the same location. if she, being my mom, were me, i'd give the sewing machine to me, once and for all.

today i've been going through a stack of charts that are expired patients with negative or positive financial balances. because i am here and there it takes me a little longer. i have an hour of work to go.

paint bucket

to be honest with you, i have not got a digital camera or a scanner or any of those expensive things that could make this family tree aesthetically pleasing to look through. so i take pictures that i like from either the 45's photobucket or
veer. usually there's a hint of veer down in the corner of each piece that i include in my blog, just so you know that the images aren't mine.

this weekend i spent some time watching television. i watched the premiere of joan of arcadia on friday night. saturday i spent the early afternoon cleaning the alexanders home. then in the evening i went with aaron & laurie and chris & ann ammons to the pickle barrel. after we ate laurie, ann and i went to see hero. i thought it was a beautiful movie and really had forgotten about it until i realized that father and son wasn't going to cut it just yet in my movie watching itinerary. sunday night i went to work on my mural for three hours. i spent time painting the third kings robe, joseph's robe, hands and faces. one of the funny things about the mural is that throughout this whole entire time it never occurred to me to include adam and eve. i don't feel as though i need to go back and somehow try and fit them in, but up until last night i never once thought of them. i think with all of the people i did include, missing adam and eve won't really matter. afterall, painted naked people in a nursery room might push the envelope further than necessary. despite all of the semi business i had a good weekend.

stick to me

i want to show you one of my most favorite things in the world. i can barely go a whole month without buying new stickers. before the 45 left to go back to honolulu we went to morning glory which is the korean version of sanrio a.k.a. hello kitty. i am having a hard time finding any pictures of the little girl i like the most, but i can tell you this, her name is not pucca. so if you are reading this and think it's pucca it is not.

kk1000 asked me about where my brother is presently employed. he was hired at redbank highschool as a freshman english teacher. he's got six classes a day, zero planning period. he and i talk once a week and he basically could fill an entire year with one days worth of school adventure.

laurie coe collier is presently working at erlanger on the pediatric floor. she's working from 7pm-7am, 3 or 4 days on 3 or 4 days off. i'm not really quite sure.