wattstax

don't be surprised by the fact that i am finally back. the last week and a half have been absolutely crazy times at ridgemont high so to speak. last week i needed to improve my work production and i didn't want to spend a whole lot of time on the www. the work has been really stressful and discouraging for me lately. i have not felt that great about the atmosphere but i also don't think i've been as motivated. i know that in the last three years i've gone through these sort of phases of unmotivation at work but for some reason the conflict seems insurmountable. the 45Revolver got into knoxville on saturday on we decided to go to K.F.A.R. from there which is Knoxville's First amendment Radio Station. He played a set on air that just blew everyone away. The party was outside around a large bonfire and Ratchet made some homebrew for all of us to drink. Sunday he played the sunday morning reggea set and then we took off to come back down to chattanooga for ROOFLESS. ROOFLESS went off with much of a hitch other than not being able to get into the Local until 9pm which was the needledrop. Monday we all went to a Lookout's game, then all the kids came back to my apartment. I had so much fun with everyone. the 45 was so hilarious at the game. we have talked about going to a baseball game together sense we got together but we got together in december when the baseball season was off. yesterday, which was tuesday we just played fussball and went to the choochoo for breakfast and then we took pizza to the parentals house. my mom and the 45 are so similar. they get along so well, it's just incredible for me to watch my mom respond to someone like she responds to him. they just talk and talk and it makes me know that my mom and dad really like him, not just a little, but a whole bunch. tonight, after work, we're going over to aaron and laurie's house for dinner. i'm looking forward to spending the rest of the week with the 45 before he goes back to honolulu. i know that so many people have been praying for me and the 45 while he was visiting. i have felt those prayers. continue to pray for us both.

i'll be keeping everyone updated in the nearer future.

eye situation

i'm in a situation right now that i absolutely cannot stand. rarely something bothers me this much, but there is an invisible something in my left eye. i have done everything within my power to eliminate the plank scratch under my eyelid. the irritation has not gone away even after using eyedrops and handfuls of water splash. i am supposed to go to dr. mccravey's lakehouse tonight but i want to go home first and change and chill out for a little while before jumping into the office coworker drama picnic. the most important thing to me is to finish a painting of josiah james knutson that i started two nights ago. it's a large on that is about 3 feet by 2 and one half feet. i'm feel really good about all of it. the cool thing is that kk1000 and josiah got to come up from atlanta yesterday and they came by. kk got to see the painting and give me her opinion of the it.

oh dear guys, m.k.d. gave her two week notice here at UOHA today. she's someone i talk with everyday. oh well.

the season rearranged itself in my stomach
spring fought with autumn symptoms, queasy
mornings, lead to faint afternoons, passed
out into chilled fever evenings.
new paint, green strokes, and sticky light
stuck below my eyes casting shadows
beneath heavy slowly sprouting
kindled coals, one new low tone love
with the humid heat of middle year summer.


the 45 will be here now in eight days. oh brother.

this is where i started

thisis where i started, aren't you glad i've come here. has it been easier? i know it has been for me. i also finally learned how to really link all of you to something. i apologize for the informal gathering of misinformation malfunctioning. i guess you could compare my broad lack of knowledge to janet's wardrobe. nonexistent. which reminds me that i'll be "invisible" for halloween this year. would anyone else like to join me?

fire in the hole

d.m.b. was fired. she was dr. nagle's medical assistant. it was hard to say goodbye as boys II men have so brilliantly put it in the past, but it was necessary and overdue. she always wore the greatest clothing, thanks for the great pink hoodies.

as usual the week progresses and plans grow thicker. on thursday night there is an after work dinner party at one italian restaurant. friday off at three, to dr. mccravey's lake house, saturday is hair day and sunday is sunday with rest and family time. i got some b&w photos back from the pharmacy:

(06.18.99
half a cent and not much more
once or possibly twice, i'm quite sure
i cast my stare out
across some empty parking lot
out numbered by crawling ants
who must have survived our
mildest winter scene
i curb my perspective
eating cement for the lunch break
i'm producing nothing but wishes
by sitting here like this
samson has me resting
but nourishment alters
only my minds hungry pangs
for a full sized dinner platter

watch out, they've told me
those kids on bikes might
steal your shoes

i think i am more
afraid of the speed limit
and the toothless hags
buying half priced pregnancy tests
i better retreat, i'll leave
the curb and come back
again the day after tomorrow.)

:this afternoon at lunch. they were leftover hawaii pictures of the north shore. lots of the 45 himself.
i am working on a painting too. but i've not come up with an idea quite yet. just adding wax right now.

private branch

by friday i was exhausted. i had an ment-emotionally draining tuesday, wednesday, thursday and finally friday. i had a really great weekend though despite the drain issues. saturday, aaron and laurie had a collier-coe family event (brunch) at their new first home. my favorite parts of the morning were the endless cups of coffee, cream cheese bready muffins from the bread basket, fruit with granola and yogurt, and fellowship with my parents and siblings. after that i went to clean a house and feed the dog and two cats at another house. my aunt c happened to call me and she had a little prize for me at her home. so i went over there and got a nice pop-up book with a nativity scene inside. by the time i got home i was tired and couldn't settle enough to nap. sunday i went on a riverbend volunteer appreciation cruise on the southern belle with amy lou from work. chip baker and the rest of the riverbend crew provided lunch and a dj and door prizes and a quick trip down the tennessee river stink. but it was interesting because i've not seen the city from the water in many years. we used to boat and ski with the godparents before their divorce in '93-'94. i would love to ski again someday. blah blah blah.

after our one hour tour we went to see the village. i enjoyed it and don't really have too much to say about what others had to say, good or bad. i thought it was interesting and slightly thought provoking, but i thought it was going to have to do with something racial. there is always a little moral to the story sort of thing with his movies. last evening i was going to go to lamar's but decided to forego the experience. i bought a six of amberbock and drank the night away with my olympic date.

i'm learning how to grow my own private branch. it won't look like my brother's branches or my sister in laws. i have been slowly developing the hybrid branch of this family tree. there are strange balances that occur within family matters, relationships. i'm loving the process but hating the feeling of not knowing if i'm always doing the right things. but this weekend i had a couple of light bulb moments. psalm sixteen for one...

the 45 will be here in thirteen days. yikes time has flown by. knoxville here i come. good times should be had all around the week. yeah. yerp yerp!!!